


Predictable

by KonElDanvers



Category: The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, High School, Pining, Useless Lesbians, We love Owen, in the closet, just angsty teens, no ghosts, oblivious Owen, supportive Edmund
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:35:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 13,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27557728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KonElDanvers/pseuds/KonElDanvers
Summary: The highschool Au nobody asked for.Why is Jamie constantly disappearing during her lunch breaks?Owen certainly doesn`t know why.(Owen is a pure angel and if anyone hurts him, I will make demons tremble before me, bowing before with the fear of a thousand men)
Relationships: Dani Clayton & Edmund O'Mara, Dani Clayton/Jamie, Hannah Grose/Owen Sharma
Comments: 40
Kudos: 328





	1. Chapter 1

Owen had known Jamie for years. They had more or less grown up together. He knew her well, knew all her trauma caused by her family. He knew when she was happy and when a depressive episode was coming. So when she started disappearing in the middle of lunch breaks and reappearing with a face that showed no emotion at all, as if she was trying to hide something, he knew that something was going on.   
When it started happening more and more often and she stopped making snarky comments at the teachers in the following hours, he grew curious. 

After a while of this, during another lunch where Jamie was absent, he looked over to Hannah. “What do you think is going on?” The girl looked up from poking at her food. 

“With the school lunch? Nothing good. I can tell you as much.” 

Owen chuckled. “Not what I meant, but if you want to, you can come over to my place tonight. I’m cooking.” 

Hannah smiled. “Sure your mom is okay with it?” 

Owen nodded eagerly. “She loves you almost more than me.”

“True. The only person she loves more than the both of us is probably Jamie.”   
Owen snickered. “Yeah, by the way, that was what I was asking about. Have you noticed that she’s sneaking away all the time?”   
“I mean, I noticed that she isn’t always trying to steal your food, but otherwise? Not really.”

Owen frowned. “Well, she is. Constantly slipping off and then when she gets back she’s like, super calm. And emotionless. And I`m not sure what it means.”  
Hannah shrugged her shoulders. “Maybe she’s meeting with someone.”   
Owen’s eyes widened. “No, she would tell me, right?”   
“I don't know. Maybe the girl isn't out.” 

Owen was confused. 

“Out? What do you mean? And why the girl?”  
Hannah stared at him in disbelief. “You do know that Jamie is gay, right?”  
He shook his head. “No.”  
“She told you about her date with that one girl- what was her name? Rebecca, like three months ago.”

Owen blinked.

“Oh come on, she is super gay. The personification of a lesbian. Hell, her nationality is just lesbian. How did you not know?”   
Owen`s brain cells still seemed to be connecting the dots. “Wait, is that why my mom has no problem letting her sleep over while you’re not allowed?” She nodded and the hobby cook sat back in his chair. “Does everyone know?”  
“Yeah, she sang ‘girls like girls’ in seventh grade at the talent show. Pretty sure everyone got the hint.”  
Owen let his face fall into his hands. “Wow, I’m a horrible friend.”  
Hannah chuckled. “You’re not. You’re just a bit… oblivious.”

A week later, Owen was sitting behind Jamie in their shared history class, throwing pieces of paper at her. She had been absent during lunch once again, and was now blankly staring at nothing. He kept tossing the small paper bullets until Jamie turned around. The expression on her face told him she was annoyed and would make him stop if necessary. Owen grinned apologetically and she turned back around. As she did, her hoodie slipped down, revealing her neck. Owen’s gaze caught the dark marks that had been left exactly in the crook of her neck.

A series of purple flashes.

Owen might be oblivious, but he was not stupid. Those were love bites. His eyes narrowed. So Jamie had been seeing someone.  
He looked around the classroom, trying to find a clue to who it could be, but gave up at the sheer impossibility of the task.  
Two weeks later, the three of them were walking around the small town, trying to find a place to hang out. While Owen was talking to Hannah about a book, Jamie was lazily smoking a cigarette. In the colder winds of autumn, the smoke vanished right into the air and her locks fell into her face, matching the color of the leaves lying on the ground. She flicked the bud of the cigarette away when they reached the small café of the town. They sat down and waited for their order to be taken, while still talking about the book. They were still chatting when the waiter came over. 

“A chocolate pie please,” Owen said.   
Hannah chose something with fruit, while Jamie simply said, “A large cookie.” Owen grinned at her.   
“Why do you always get the same thing?”   
She shrugged. “It's nice and boring. Nothing unusual and always tasty.”

Twenty minutes later, the door opened and a group of people came in. It was the it-clique of the school, led by the jock Henry and his brother. Following them, a few people Owen may have spoken to in lessons. They sat down in the booth opposite them. Suddenly, Owen noticed Jamie thoughtfully looking at them. She quickly turned her gaze back to her plate.  
Owen’s attention was pulled back to the other group at their raucous laughter. One of the boys, Edmund, he believed, had eaten two whole pies with one bite. His girlfriend, a tiny blonde with a dark sweater shook her head.

Owen noticed that she didn’t seem all that impressed with her boyfriend’s behavior.  
He had met her a few times.  
She was a nice person. Always smiling and super smart. Always on top of the class. But maybe a bit too predictable. She did what was expected. In seventh grade she had started dating her best friend, Edmund. They were the perfect couple, and now, in their last year of high school, a lot of people expected him to propose.

No one was bothered by how young they were. In the eyes of the town, they were soulmates and it couldn’t go fast enough. Married at eighteen, kids at twenty.  
Owen guessed that Dani would resign herself to being a stay at home mom. That was how it was done. In Bly it was almost like it wasn’t the year 2019.  
It was like they were stuck in the 80’s.

A few minutes later, the friend group got up and made their way past the jocks table. Owen noticed that Jamie seemed focused. He followed her gaze. It was directed at Dani. And the other girl was staring back. Blonde curls down her back, rosy cheeks and a slight smile on her lips.

Owen waited until the three of them had left the café before turning to Jamie. “Is it just me, or was Clayton wearing a familiar sweater?”   
Jamie looked and raised her eyebrow. She lit up another cigarette and put it between her lips. “No clue what you`re talking about.” 

Owen narrowed his eyes. He knew for sure that he had seen Jamie wear that sweater. As they were walking away, Owen saw Jamie looking back, through the glass windows of the café.  
She was staring at the blonde girl, and Clayton was looking back. Flushed cheeks and eyes that spoke a language of secrets that he didn't fully understand.  
But Jamie seemed to know. Jamie tilted her head and smiled.  
Owen couldn't say that he knew exactly what was going on between them, but one thing was clear: Maybe Dani Clayton wasn’t as predictable as he thought.


	2. Chapter 2

It had been three days, and Jamie had once again disappeared during lunch. What Owen had noticed was that every time the brunette was gone, Dani’s seat next to her boyfriend was also empty. He was pretty sure that something was going on between the two girls and he was determined to make his friend talk. He and Hannah were sitting in the kitchen of his house.

The hobby cook thought of ways to bring it up in a conversation. 

Jamie had cancelled their usual hangout. “Gotta work in the garden,” she had said. Owen wasn't so sure. But every time he asked if she was meeting up with Dani, Jamie would shake her head and say, “You`re crazy. That one’s straight. No chance.” But Owen knew what he had seen. The stolen glances and shy smiles. He was sure.  
“Do you think that there could be something going on between Jamie and Clayton?” 

Hannah narrowed her eyebrows. “What do you mean exactly?” 

Owen put his hands on the table. “Jamie is still vanishing during lunch. I saw that she had love bites, and it all points in the direction of Dani Clayton.”  
“I’m not so sure. I mean, it’s Dani that you’re talking about. She’s been with her best friend for years. And she doesn't seem like the type to sneak around like that.”

Owen sighed. Why did no one believe him?

“Haven’t you seen the way they look at each other? It's all lovey-dovey and Hallmark movie stuff! I couldn't make that up if I tried! Also, every time that Jamie isn’t at lunch, Dani is also not in her usual seat. You have to admit, it’s suspicious!”  
Hannah brought her hand up to her face and smoothened out non existent wrinkles. “I mean, it sounds real, but there’s no way you’re right.” 

“And why is that?” Owen wanted to know.   
“Jamie told me that she has been given a job by the school gardener. She wants to add it to her resume. And I saw them talking multiple times.”  
The hobby cook sank back in his chair. “Is that where she is right now?” Hannah nodded. “I don't know. I still have the feeling that there’s more to it.” He paused and ran his hand through his hair. “Can we at least check if you’re right? I would feel better knowing that Jamie isn’t running around, making Dani cheat on her boyfriend.”

Hannah looked like she wanted to plead with him to not make her do that, but at the same time she knew that Owen wouldn't shut up until he knew for sure. So instead, she nodded. “Alright.”  
She gave him a stern look. “But if she isn’t, we’re coming straight back and doing our homework!” Hannah pointed at the untouched folder in front of Owen, where multiple history tasks were waiting for him.

Owen parked his car behind the school. The two friends got out and walked around the building to reach the gate into the garden. On the way, he noticed how neatly groomed it actually looked here. Pretty flowers sprung up everywhere, despite the weather getting a lot colder. There were no loose leaves laying along the grass and it smelled like pine trees.  
They walked around for a while, till they got to the small greenhouse that the headmaster had built three years ago. 

They heard someone laughing. 

The loud, clear sound caught their attention. They got closer. There, inside the greenhouse, stood Dani Clayton. Hair up in a pony tale and a white shirt, her eyes sparkling, holding a bag.  
“You gotta get that one over there,” an all too familiar voice said. Jamie was standing next to a few cardboard molds.  
The blonde grunted and got it over to the brunette. “Why didn't you tell me how heavy these were before I agreed to help you?”  
“You didn't ask,” Jamie replied with a smirk.

Dani chuckled. 

“Oh how could I forget.” She shook her head and Jamie handed her a shovel. The two girl started transferring something that looked like mud into the molds.

Hannah looked over to Owen, who was carefully watching them. “You see? Dani is only helping her with the job. Probably doesn’t want to make a big deal of it.” Owen was still suspicious.

The two girls finished up and Jamie straightened out her back. “Do you have time this evening?” she asked the other girl. 

Owen raised his eyebrows. 

“My aunt is gone today and I’m on babysitting duty.”  
“Are you asking me for help?”  
Jamie scoffed. “Not that I need it.” 

Dani smiled.  
“Nah, of course you don’t. If I remember correctly you told me that Mikey only ate three entire bags of chips last time you watched him alone. So how could anything go wrong?”  
The gardener pouted. “Not everyone can be as perfect as you, Poppins.” 

The blonde shook her head. “It’s not that I’m perfect, it’s that you’re just impatient.”  
Jamie gave her a look.  
“And also you tend to behave like a child yourself.”  
The brunette gasped.

“See? They’re just friends!” Hannah whispered behind Owen.  
“I can't believe you said that!”   
Dani laughed. “And what are you going to do about it?” Jamie grinned.  
“Are you sure?” Owen asked as the scene in front of them kept unfolding. Hannah nodded.

Dani backed up as Jamie stepped closer to her. “Wha-what are you doing?” Jamie simply grinned.   
“Oh, someone deserves a bit of a punishment.”  
The two friends watched Jamie, who had started tickling Clayton. Their laughter echoed through the green house. 

Owen sighed. Maybe they were just friends. He turned around to admit defeat, but Hannah suddenly gripped his arm. Eyes widening she said, “Okay, I believe you now.”   
Owen turned back around.  
There were Jamie and Dani. The laughing had transformed into quiet chuckling. And they were- kissing. Dani`s hands buried in the brunette’s hair, while Jamie was holding her by the hips.

“What in god's name…” he whispered. Hannah and Owen stared at each other, then back to the couple. When moans started to reach their ears, they turned in unison and rushed back to the car.  
With red cheeks, they got into the vehicle. “So….” Hannah said.  
Owen was still in a state of shock. “That was awkward,” he stated.   
She nodded. “I did not expect that.”   
“Me neither.”  
Hannah turned the key and started the motor of the car. 

They drove away, leaving Jamie with Dani, who had her eye’s closed while leaning into the passionate kiss of the other woman.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some fluff and than a bit angst  
> Hope you like it:)

Jamie was trying to get her little brother to put on a shirt. The boy had been refusing for the past twenty minutes and slowly she was losing her patience. The doorbell rang, breaking their stalemate, and Jamie immediately grinned, knowing who was waiting on the other side.

“Evening Poppins.” The blonde laughed and Jaimie felt like the sun had come out.  
“Hey,” Dani leaned forward to press a kiss against the brunette’s cheek. “How was the rest of your day?”   
Jamie sighed. “Well, my aunt left a few hours ago and it was going pretty good. Well, until Mikey started to rebel.”   
“Oh no, what’s he doing?”   
“Refusing to wear a shirt, the little shite.” 

Dani grinned. “Don't call him that. He's young and he doesn't know any better.” The blonde tossed her coat on the couch and looked questioningly at Jamie. “May I try?”

Jamie trailed behind Dani into the lounge where Mikey was sulking on the floor. She was astonished to see how she interacted with the young boy. She’d seen it before, but every time it was fascinating. The blonde had a way to get children to calm down and simply be happy. Where Mikey had been throwing a full on tantrum before with Jamie, he was now smiling and helping Dani pick a shirt.   
“What about the one with the dinosaurs. They are big and strong.” 

The boy gave it a critical look. 

“They’re awesome, trust me.” 

Mikey gave it some thought and then nodded. The blonde smiled. “Do you need help or can you manage alone?”   
The boy shook his head and sent his curls flying around. “Jamie teached me how to do it myself last week!” Blue eyes locked with hazel ones.   
“Did she?” Jamie looked down, blushing at the proud look on Dani's face.   
“Yip!” 

The nanny laughed. “Well, then go on and show off that new skill of yours.” The boy nodded, took the shirt and started changing.  
Dani straightened up and came over to Jamie. “How are you so good with him?” 

The blonde shrugged. “Natural talent?”   
The brunette grinned. “Sure it is.”   
Dani looked back to the boy, who till now had been successful to put the shirt over his head. “How long did it take to teach him that?”   
“Don’t know… two hours? Stretched over the course of three weeks.” The blonde seemed impressed.   
“Good work with that.”   
“Well, I can be quite the kid whisperer when I need to be.”

The three of them spent most of the evening playing games. Hide and seek and catch were at the moment the highest ranking on Mikey’s list.  
“How does he still have energy?” Jamie asked, running down the stairs for what felt like, and probably was, the 50th time. “Seriously, if he doesn’t stop soon I will drag him up to bed myself.”  
Dani answered with an exhausted laugh. “He's like, super fast.” The breathlessness of her voice spoke for itself.

They turned to see a little brown haired kid climbing on the couch. “There he is,” Jamie whispered, and both of them started creeping towards the kid. The boy didn't notice them, focused on balancing on the cushions. Jamie gave the blonde a nod. While Dani walked up to Mikey so he could see her, Jamie crept around the living room. Dani cleared her throat and the boy jumped up, losing his balance.  
If the brunette hadn’t been behind him, he would have fallen onto the ground.   
But this way, he safely found his way into his sisters arms. She cuddled him close and started complaining to her companion.

“Look what we’ve found here. Free running lil’ dinosaur.”   
She looked over to Dani, who crossed her arms, a smile on her lips. “What shall we do with him?”  
The blonde raised an eyebrow. “Well, who knows? Maybe dinosaurs can fly? Want to try?”   
Jamie chuckled when the boy's eyes went wide. “Totally in favor of that.”

The kid in her arms shrieked while she headed up the stairs and towards the balcony, Dani following her every move.  
When instead of stepping onto the balcony they turned into his bedroom, the boy relaxed. “I think we'll try the flying tomorrow.”   
Dani laughed. “Right, he's way too tired to fly right now.” She tousled his curls, while Jamie set him down on the mattress. The boy burrowed into the blankets. The two girls smiled at each other. Big hazel eyes were staring up at them. “Wanna sleep now?”Jamie asked.

The boy nodded.

“Then sweet dreams, lil’ dinosaur,” Jamie pressed a kiss to his forehead. She expected the kid to close his eyes, but instead he looked over at Dani, who was watching the siblings. Jamie wasn't sure what he wanted, but she had an idea.  
“Do you want Dani to say good night to you too?” He nodded. The brunette gestured to the girl to come closer.  
“Dream of the stars.” Dani murmured after pressing her lips against his cheek, hot from all the running around earlier.  
After making sure that Mikey had fallen asleep, the girls went down stairs. “So, I should probably head home.”   
Jamie stopped, looking back at Dani. The blonde was probably right. She had done as planned; helped her with Mikey, and her parents would most likely wonder where she was, but Jamie didn't want her to leave just yet. “Or you could stay.” 

Dani gave her a soft look. “My parents-”  
“I know,” Jamie interrupted. “Just, watch a movie with me. Please?” The blonde sighed but seemed to be considering it. “I can drive you home after. We’ll just say that Mikey was being difficult. It’ll be fine, I promise!” Dani sighed but nodded, smiling.  
They sat on the couch, eyes plastered to the tv. It was an older movie and Audrey Hapburn was there in a close up. They had been silent for some time. Jamie enjoyed being able to cuddle into Dani’s side, taking in her scent of something fruity, bookish, completely Dani.

Then Dani turned to face the brunette. “You know, I want this to be true.”  
“What do you mean?”   
She sighed. “It's just- this sneaking around… I don’t want to do that. And cheating? It’s…”

She found herself at a loss of words.

Jamie closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath. “Then why are you doing it?”  
“Probably because I'm scared. I know that it's probably silly and that people are way more accepting than even just a few years ago, but it's such a horrifying thought. This is a small town. News spreads fast. And it sometimes feels like we’re stuck. Stuck in a bubble where nothing changes. Where everything always stays the same.”  
“Then maybe it's time to burst that bubble.” Jamie said, pressing a soft kiss against the blonde’s neck.

“I want to, but every time I feel like I’m finally brave enough, these thoughts creep into my head. That I’m letting everyone down. That I'm not doing what is expected of me…”   
Jamie took Dani’s hands in her own. “You are not letting anyone down by being who you are!” 

Dani tried to compose herself. She didn't want to cry but all those feelings; the feelings of fear and self hatred and depression all came up at once. At the same time the feeling of luck and something else she couldn't quite identify kept fighting against them. “I don't want my parents to hate me. I have no idea what they think of gay people. We’ve never spoken about it. And… Eddie.” 

Her gaze softened and Jamie would have been jealous if she wasn’t sure that Dani absolutely was not in love with him. Not in a romantic way.  
“He's my best friend and it's been like that for ages. He's going to hate me. I've been lying- cheating on him.”   
Jamie let her fingers caress the other girl`s hand. “He’ll survive. He'll be okay, it just might take some time.” Dani bit her lip, and Jamie knew that she couldn't bring herself to push any further. Coming out was scary.

Hell, it had been scary for her, even though she never truly had a coming out. It just went unspoken between her and her aunt. One day she simply brought a girl home, and it was never mentioned. Her aunt treated the girl as she would have any boy, and the brunette had been relieved. She’d had a complete breakdown beforehand, but after- it had been fine.  
She hoped that Dani would have something like that. It wouldn’t be the same, there was a lot more pressure on her, but she hoped that whatever happened would leave her feeling good.  
“Want to finish the movie?”

It was four in the morning and a car crept up the street. It parked and a woman in her forties got out. She took out a key and opened the door to her house. Everything was quiet and dark. She was impressed. Her niece actually managed to not let her brother destroy everything. She put her bag on the hook and the keys on the small tray right next to a mirror.  
She took off her shoes and went to the kitchen to get a last glass of water before going to sleep.

With her thirst satisfied, she went into the living room. To her surprise, the tv was still on, the credits to some movie rolling. She went in to put it out, but froze at the sight that welcomed her. Her niece was lying on the couch, a blanket comfortably above her and snoring lightly. That alone wouldn’t leave her shocked.  
It was the fact that Jamie wasn’t alone.

A girl had her arms draped around the brunette’s stomach and her head on her shoulder. It wasn’t just any girl. It was Dani Clayton. The girl that everyone in town knew. The happy, smart girl that famously had been with her boyfriend for years. All of the residents of Bly had bets placed on when the young man was going to propose and now- well. The position the girls were in spoke for itself. She sighed when she saw the blonde tightening her grip.

Dani seemed more relaxed than the older Taylor remembered seeing her. She had always had a certain tension. Until now she hadn’t thought about it, but seeing her here, holding her niece close, it became obvious.  
She massaged the bridge of her nose and made the decision to not wake them up. It would only leave them embarrassed.   
Also, they were almost adults. She would leave them to handle this.  
She just hoped that Jamie knew what she was doing,


	4. Chapter 4

Dani had been trying to talk to Eddie. She needed to break up with him. It wasn’t right to keep going behind his back. He was her boyfriend but foremost, he was her best friend. And she could never betray her best friend like that. Not in the long run. But every time she tried to pull the conversation in the direction of “Hey, maybe I’m not your happily ever after, after all,” someone interrupted them.

Sometimes it was his mother, who for some reason couldn't seem to let them have a few moments to themselves, or one of Edmunds' jock friends.  
Not that it was all to blame on them, her friends weren't innocent of it either. Rebecca broke into the room multiple times, always insinuating that they could have been doing more than just talking.

Those implications just made it worse. 

Edmund never blushed anymore like he used to. He simply grinned and cocked up an eyebrow. Sometimes Dani missed how sweet he had been. How he had pulled her up when she fell on their way to school and brought her to the library to cover her wounded knee with a band aid. Eddie had been so good to her.

He had never put pressure on her.

She knew that he had expectations of what would come in the future, but he had never spoken them aloud. He had wanted her to be ready. But now? Now he was a grown man, and she was a grown woman. And expectations weren't simple promises anymore.   
Not just a simple “Maybe”. 

Expectations were set in stone. 

She hated it. But she still loved Eddie. Not this new, too confident version, but the version he had been and that still came through from time to time. And Dani didn’t want to let down the Eddie that had looked at her with a gap-toothed grin, that had proposed to her when they were young because he thought that holding hands could get a girl pregnant. 

She was aware of the fact that she had to talk to him soon. The people in Bly may have thought that she was oblivious to their bets on them.   
On when Eddie would propose, when the wedding would be. When the first child would speak it’s first words.

So Dani would have to break their expectations too, not just Eddie’s. And that was what made it so difficult. Dani had found a family with the O`Mara’s. Her father had left when she had been very young and her mother had neglected her for most of her childhood.   
Three years ago she had quit the bottle and sworn never to touch alcohol again.  
Since then, it wasn’t only the O`Mara’s teasing at a future wedding. No, her mother was there to do it too.

And it was annoying.

But for the most part, she went along with it. Playing the perfect girlfriend. That was, until four months ago when she’d bumped into this girl, brown curls sticking to her neck, her arms left bare by a shirt.  
Dani’s mouth had instantly become dry.  
“What’re you doing here?” the girl had asked. The blonde had looked around.   
They were in the school garden. No one else was there. Only the two of them. Dani liked to come there from time to time, to either read or maybe draw some of the birds in the trees.  
It was relaxing. She’d spent a lot of time in those gardens as a kid, playing hide and seek or going out for biology lessons. She loved it, because these grounds expected nothing of her. Here, she was still a kid with no one to predict anything for her except maybe her next grade on a math exam.

“Reading,” she had answered.

The girl had raised an eyebrow. “Reading outside in this heat? Are ya crazy?”   
Dani shrugged. She didn't want to go inside again. Peter would be in there, and he’d probably make another comment on how she dressed and she couldn’t deal with that right now.  
Putting up with the heat seemed like the better option.

“Well, can’t let you dry out sitting out here. Come with me.”

And so the blonde had followed the brunette. “Are you taking me here to kill me?” she asked jokingly at the sight of the green house.  
“Keep talking and I just might.”   
The girl had let her in and pointed at a chair in a corner. “You can read over there. The temperature is a bit cooler in here.”

For the next week Dani would go there. Read, learn and watch Jamie help the old gardener. “Why are you doing this?” she had asked at one point.  
“What do you mean?”   
“Helping the gardener.” The brunette had put down a bucket filled with stones.   
“Because I like plants. Can’t disappoint you. In lots of ways, they’re better than people.” 

The blonde nodded. That made sense. 

“And why are you coming here when you could be spending time with glasses boy?” Jamie asked teasingly.  
“Because I like books. They don't have any expectations.”  
“And what’s wrong with expectations?”  
“Everything.”

A friendship developed between them. Jamie would work. Dani would read. Sometimes, when Jamie thought that the title of the book was interesting, she’d ask the blonde to read out loud and Dani was happy to do it.  
After three weeks, Jamie was talking about her family. She had opened up to Dani about her dad, who had worked in the mines. And her mom, who had been the town whore. How she had run away and never looked back. How her aunt had taken her in and that she still hated the American way of making tea.

And Dani couldn't help herself anymore. She had leaned forward and kissed the gardener. It was not what Jamie had expected but slowly she learned that trying to predict what Dani was going to do was much harder than she’d imagined.

Wanted a boring life, free of drama, didn't seem so important anymore.  
Because Dani was worth it.  
Or so Jamie hoped. She wanted the blonde to be worth it. Even prayed for it.   
Because if she wasn’t, then who in the world could be?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally the weekend. I`ve got to finish some shit for school, but I also wanted to post a new chapter.  
> I hope you like it:)


	5. Chapter 5

Owen was walking through the hall, the books he had carried the whole day finally stuffed in his locker. Mentally he checked off a list of things he needed to do today. The dishes? Already done this morning. The presentation for geography? Almost done, just a paragraph that had been difficult to figure out.

All in all, the only thing that was left to do was to try to convince his mother to let him leave for paris next year, and go to the football game this evening.  
The school's spirit had been up all day. The tension in the air was electric. The upcoming game and the threat of the challenging school caused a buzz of excitement. The teachers had been struggling the whole day.

The teenagers and young adults didn't want to listen to them anymore.   
They wanted to get out. To smell the grass of the field, to let the cold wind blow in their faces. To eat horrible nachos and most of all, to cheer for their team. 

Everyone was excited.

Even Owen, who to be fair, wasn’t the biggest sports fan. If anything he liked soccer. But it was for the school and a certain pride came with the win of every year.  
Together with Hannah and Jamie he stood in the stands.   
Jamie was vibrating with tension. To everyone’s surprise, the brunette had a love for the American sport that no one had expected. To watch the Superbowl with her was an eye opening experience. But now she was cheering for the young man that was trying to get the leather ball to the other side of the field. 

Owen would be lying if he said that he knew what was going on.

He truly had no idea. The rules, even after all these years, were still a mystery. And yet. Shouting the names of the players that had scored a point or some shit was like magic. To the right of their stand were the adults. Some years ago, the school had decided to separate the students from the parents after one “incident” where a father had ended up with a broken arm.  
Owen saw Jamie staring away from the players from time to time.   
The cheerleaders were on the sidelines, doing their acrobatics and shouting. But Jamie only had eyes for one of them. On top of the pyramid, wearing a red and white leotard was Dani.

Owen knew that that was who she was focused on. He couldn’t forget what he had seen in the greenhouse, though not for want of trying. Hannah and Owen had decided that they wouldn’t tell Jamie that they knew. He could see the jealousy in Jamie’s eyes every time she saw Edmund and Dani walking the halls together. He didn't need to stress her more.  
The final seconds of the game had started and the clock was counting down. 

Bly was in front, winning with what would be a new record. The students were chanting and singing the school hymn. When finally the clock stated “0”, applause surrounded the players and loud screeches marked the teenage girls that were standing closest to the field.

One of the players went up front and asked the principal, who was saying something about the school's spirit, something the students couldn’t make out. He nodded and the player took off his helmet. It was Edmund.

He took the microphone and took the stand. “WE WON!” was the first thing he screamed and once again, applause came from the stands.   
When the audience had calmed down a bit, he chuckled. “Today is a great occasion. We won, which means that four of us will get a scholarship.”

He turned around to look at his teammates. “I couldn't be prouder of you guys.” 

When the audience once again tried to cheer, he put his hands up and instantly everyone fell silent. “But we couldn't have done this alone. We also need to thank our amazing trainer, Miss Lynch.”   
He pointed at a tall woman with blonde, short hair who waved. “And the parents that let us spend way too much time at practice.”   
From the adult stands came laughter and agreeing nods. 

“And, for me, Danielle Clayton.” He smiled. “Most of you will know my wonderful girlfriend.” An agreeing cheer. “I know, she's amazing.”   
He walked up and down the field. “And as you all know, we have been together for years. And I can't imagine anyone else being by my side.” He pointed to the wall of cheerleaders. “Can you come here Danielle?” 

With shy steps, the blonde walked up front. 

Next to him, Owen felt Jamie tense up.

“Danielle, you have been my best friend since were were kids and since I proposed to you when we were ten, I knew.” He took her hand. “I knew that you would be the one.” He knelt to the ground. “So I don't want to waste any more time. I love you and I know that you love me. So In the spirit of today’s game I want to ask, Danielle Clayton, if you will marry me.”  
The crowd was silent. The cheerleader looked away from her boyfriend. To anyone else it looked like a simple, nervous gesture, but at least four people knew who she was looking to find. 

Her eyes locked with Jamie’s.

Jamie’s jaw had tensed. Owen felt the anxiety well up in his friend. Silently she whispered, “Please, please don't, Poppins.”  
It broke Owen's heart.  
Then the blonde gave Jamie a sad look.

“Yes”

She had agreed. Edmund stood up, his smile could have powered the sun for another million years.

The complete opposite was Jamie. Her hands were forming fists and Owen saw them shaking. While Edmund hugged his now fiancée, Dani tried to search the brunette out again.  
But the girl had left. Owen gave her a shrug. At the same time, he wanted to punch her. He understood that it was scary, but what the blonde was doing to his friend wasn't okay. He knew that Dani knew that he knew.   
She mouthed, “I’m so sorry.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst bc well, fits the story:)

Dani tried not to hyperventilate, even though everything in her was telling her to run. To get out of the stadium. To take Jamie by the hand, get in the car and never come back to Bly again. But against her better judgement, she was standing on the football field. Holding Edmund`s hand, warm from his game, and trying not to think about the ring that was sitting on her finger.  
The feeling that she had betrayed Jamie made it difficult to breathe. Edmund smiled at his parents who had come down from the stands and were now congratulating them.

“We are so happy for you two!”, Mr O`Mara said. Mrs O`Mara, who was smiling at them with  
teeth so white they could have blinded Dani, agreed. “Of course, we knew that he was going to propose. It was so hard keeping it a secret.” She looked at the two younger people with a loving gaze. “He was so nervous. But of course, we told him that you would say yes. I mean, you two are so in love. It truly is adorable. And why in the name of god would he even think that you would say no? I mean, you two are soulmates. Meant to be.”

Dani felt a hand closing around her chest. Edmund was not her soulmate.  
Her best friend? Yes.  
They had shared everything- almost everything- with each other. But she could never love him in that way. The proposal felt cruel. She wanted to break it off. She wanted to set them both free, to give them both a chance to find someone they would truly love.

She knew that she already had found that person. No one had ever made her feel like Jamie did. Safe, yet like anything could happen. Together they were better. They had fun. It was so new and yet it already felt like it had always been this way. She wanted to run after the other woman. To kiss her. To tell her that everything would be alright.

But she couldn`t, because she didn’t know if it would be.

Of course, Edmund had proposed in the one way she hated most; in front of the whole town. In front of everyone that expected it from them. They had talked about proposals before, some two or three years ago. She had told him that she wanted it to be simple. Just the two of them, maybe over a romantic dinner. But nothing like this. Why had he not listened to her? This was too much and she hated it.

Jamie was sitting on the couch. In front of her the TV was running. Her aunt and Mikey were still out. They had been at the game, in the other stands. She hadn’t been able to sit through the proposal, the feeling of jealousy almost burning her skin. Now tears were dripping down her face, rendering her eyes red and leaving her cheeks puffy.

She didn’t want to feel this way.

She wanted to forget that this day had even happened. To delete it out of her mind.

Dani had said yes.

Jamie was aware that there was pressure on Dani, especially with the whole town watching, but it didn’t quiet the thoughts that were running through her mind. That it was too late now. That Dani had chosen. That she would marry Edmund, even if she did not love him, because Dani would never want to disappoint.

And by leaving Eddie and instead choosing her, she would do exactly that.

Jamie sobbed. She hadn't cried in years. Before now, she had always been able to find a solution for everything. She was good at saving things, fixing things, making stuff right. She could trust herself.

But others? Not so much.  
That was why she spent most of her time with plants.

A key was turned in the lock. The door opened. Her aunt walked in, holding Mikey’s hand. The second that they saw Jamie sitting on the couch, Mikey asked, “Is she okay?” 

His aunt smiled sadly. “No, I don't think so.”

“Does it have something to do with Dani?” His aunt sighed. Of course, he knew Dani. She had seen the two girls on the day that Jamie had to babysit. If she judged it correctly, it probably had not been the first time. “I don't think that Dani would ever hurt her.” The older woman looked critically towards the couch, where Jamie was hugging a pillow and trying to hide her tears.

“Why do you think that?”

“Because Dani loves her.” It was such a simple explanation. So simple and yet… she hadn’t thought about it.

Of course, her niece had probably kissed the other girl, but love? Jamie had girlfriends sometimes, but they never left her sobbing. There must have been something special about the Clayton girl.

She tugged the boy's hand closer. “Okay, little man, go upstairs and change.” Mikey nodded and ran away.

Jamie looked up at her aunt. The older woman had sat down next to her on the couch and was looking at her with observing eyes. “So, normally proposals are happy occasions.”  
The brunette scoffed. Yeah, normally. When you weren't in love with the person that had gotten  
proposed to.

“I know that you and her had something.” Jamie looked away, not wanting to see the judgement in her aunt's eyes. “I saw you two sleeping on the couch.”

Of course. The gardener should have known that someone could have caught them. At least they hadn’t been making out.

“Why did she say yes to him?” 

Jamie shrugged. “She isn't out and she’s scared that her family won't accept it.”

The older Taylor nodded. It wasn’t something she had given much thought too; Jamie had simply been Jamie. That the kids were scared of those feelings and, most likely, of themselves, hadn't even crossed her mind. Had Jamie ever felt that way?  
No, that was a conversation for a different day.

“She must really be something if she makes you cry like this.” 

The girl nodded and laughed, a hiccup accompanying it. “I love her.”

The older Taylor sighed. God, the Taylor`s had no luck in love, that much was for sure.


	7. Chapter 7

Jamie had left home early. She needed some time to herself, in the garden, hands covered with dirt.  
No students milling about and shouting on the grounds, no aunt to look at her with a face full of pity.  
She couldn't take it anymore. But a few minutes with the plants?  
Always helped. She was trying to put a bucked onto a shelf when she heard familiar steps. Jamie  
stopped in her movements.  
“Jamie.” Her voice was so small. So quiet. The brunette hated it. Dani shouldn’t sound like that. Not  
now, not ever. Dani should be laughing, happy, showing off her adorable dimples.  
“What is it?” Jamie knew that she sounded harsh, her voice filled only with hurt. She knew that Dani hadn’t wanted to hurt her, but knowing didn’t change the fact that she had. Nothing would erase that.  
“I- I’m so sorry.” The gardener did not dare to turn around. She was afraid that if she looked at Dani, she would forgive her immediately. So she continued to stare at the shelf as if there was nothing more interesting in the world.  
“I am really sorry for hurting you.” Jamie did not turn around. Her mind was going in circles. All she could think was that Dani was marrying Edmund, even if it didn’t make her happy. Jamie had decided that she had to take care of herself. Letting herself open up again to Dani would break her piece by piece.  
Owen and Hannah were both worried about their friend. Sure, Jamie was one to sulk quietly and from time to time she wouldn’t speak much during lunch, but that was just Jamie.

But this? 

This wasn't normal. This Jamie didn't even roll her eyes when Owen made one of his terrible puns. She simply continued to play with her food.  
Owen shared a glance with Hannah. Neither wanted to say anything, but they knew exactly what it  
was about. 

When Jamie left to go into the gardens for one more quick glance at the flowers she was trying to save, the two turned to each other.

“She really is heartbroken,” Hannah stated. “I’ve never seen her like this. Jamie isn’t one to cry about  
a girl.” She shrugged. “This one seems to be something else.” Owen nodded. That was exactly what had him worried.

Dani tried not to drown during Monday dinner. She was seated between Edmund and his mother, their faces so happy. The blonde tried to act just as happy, but it was hard. 

She had seen Jamie multiple times, tried to talk to her, but the brunette had barely reacted. Was it because Jamie didn’t want to be hurt more than she already was?  
Or was it because Jamie had never felt the same way  
that Dani did about her? 

The first option was heartbreaking and Dani wished she could make it  
better, but if the second option was true… she would almost rather think that she was hurting.  
A light blanket wrapped around their shoulders while the storm was raging. Not a lot, and yet an  
anchor to hold onto.

While trying to avoid eye contact with everyone, her gaze was drawn to the pictures hanging on the  
wall.  
A series of photos of them. Edmund and Dani. From when they were just little kids up to only  
seven months ago. 

These pictures used to fill her with joy. They had meant family; that there was  
someone out there that actually cared for her. That she wasn’t just the daughter of an alcoholic. 

But now they made her feel so much more.

Most of all: guilt.

How could she do this to her best friend? Wasn’t being best friends about being honest with each other, so that both of them could be happy? The blonde looked at the brown haired boy, who had spinach stuck in between his teeth. He was still the boy that had offered to let her stay with him on days that he mother had been… not well. 

In moments like this, the sweet Eddie came through. The Eddie whom she could trust with her life.

After dinner, they went up to his room to do homework. While sitting on his bed, writing on a sheet  
of paper, she suddenly couldn’t take it anymore. She had to tell him. If not now, it would never happen- and that wouldn’t be fair on either one of them.

“Eddie?” He looked up with his sweet smile that always looked a little crooked.

“What is it?”

“I- I-“ She couldn`t. Her throat was closing up, the fear of being resented taking over. He raised an eyebrow and laid his things aside. 

Taking her hand, he asked:  
“What is it?”  
“I don't know if I can tell you.”  
He started to look worried. “Danielle, if we are going to get married, you should feel able to tell me anything.”  
Her breathing stopped. The ring that was shining on her ring finger suddenly felt a thousand times heavier. He seemed to notice. Instead of backing off, he gripped her hand tighter. “I’m still your best friend. Most and before everything else! So please, tell me what’s going on.”

She looked him into the eye. “The thing is, I don't think I can marry you.”

Now he was the one with fear in his eyes. “Why?” His voice was calm and Dani couldn’t hear even a hint of anger.  
“Because I don’t love you the way that I'm supposed to.” 

His hands were warm. Familiar. Safe. 

He still hadn’t pulled them away. Instead of getting angry, there was a sort of sad acceptance in his features.

“I’m sorry, Eddie. I thought that maybe I could start feeling the way I'm supposed to over time, if I tried hard enough. I thought that maybe something was wrong with me. But the thing is, I know now that there is nothing wrong with me. I do love you, so much, but not in a romantic way. And letting this go any further, leading you on for just a second more, would only make us both miserable.”

He was quiet, the sound of his breathing and her heartbeat the only noise rushing through the room.  
“You know, I was suspicious. Like, there was always some kind of feeling that this wouldn’t work out no matter how much I wanted it. And it does hurt, but I also understand.” He squeezed her hand.

“Can I ask why you can’t love me?”

Dani took a shaky breath. “I’m gay, Eddie.” 

He nodded. In that moment, he could have done a million things. He could have yelled. Kicked her out. Even hit her. But he did nothing of that sort. He simply sat with her, still holding her hand. 

After a few minutes, he gave her a shaky grin. “Well, that certainly would have made marriage difficult.”

Dani laughed. Probably harder than actually what fit the joke, but Eddie joined her. 

They laughed about the terrible joke, till laughter became crying. They ended up lying next to each other, tears streaming down their faces.

“I’m sad, but I’ll be fine,” Eddie said and Dani believed him.

“I hope that you find someone that wants to marry you as much as you want them.”

He smiled. “I hope the same for you.”

He was still holding her hand. And for a moment, they weren't eighteen years old, trying to graduate and start their own lives. They were ten again, comforting each other after falling onto the ground.

“I’m sorry that you felt like you had to lie about who you are. You should have been able to date who you wanted.”  
Dani shrugged. “It wasn't your fault. I'm sorry that I stole those years from you.”

The boy shook his head, tears still running down his cheek. “Those years weren't wasted. Yeah, it didn't work out, but how many relationships do? I got to love my best friend! How could that be a waste?”

Dani closed her eyes, feeling his hand still in hers. She could not believe how lucky she was to have Edmund.  
He truly was her best friend before anything else. She knew that he was sad, and yet, he comforted her.  
He told her that it was okay. He was a good man, and Dani was lucky to have him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I don't want to make Edmund seem like an asshole. Dani loved him, even though in a different way, there must have been a reason for it:)  
> I hope you guys like it


	8. Chapter 8

Dani had no idea what to do. She and Edmund had decided not to break the news to everyone just yet. He wanted time to think about everything and to get friendly to the idea of them not being romantically involved anymore and because Dani wasn't completely ready to let the facade drop either.

Not being a part of the O`Mara family anymore would be a consequence that Dani knew she would have to learn to live with, even if Edmund kept telling her otherwise.

So when they went back to school on Tuesday, everyone thought that they were still together.  
They had driven in one car because that was what they always had done. To all of the students of the school, they looked the same, except that they knew that they weren't. They didn’t hold hands as they walked, and Dani wasn't wearing the engagement ring. She had given it back to Edmund.

“You should save that one for a girl that will walk through fire for you,” she had said.

And Eddie?  
He had smiled.

While walking the corridor on their way to math class, Dani saw a certain brunette leaning against her locker. The blonde knew that Jamie had been watching her. Her grey eyes were  


When the blonde tried to give her a small smile, Jamie  
shook her head and stormed in the opposite direction. Dani knew that was going to get her in trouble.

They had math together.

But she also knew that there was no use in running after her. Jamie was a stubborn woman and there was no way in hell that she would simply hug her and tell her that everything would be alright. So instead, Dani gave Edmund a nod and they carried on towards their classroom. 

For the rest of the day, Jamie was nowhere to be seen and Dani found it frustratingly hard to focus on her lessons. ‘Get it together! You have exams coming up!’ she told herself. 

The rest of the week was the same. Jamie would ignore her and storm off when Dani so much as tried to get within a few metres of her. And it was frustrating.

But she knew she needed to give Jamie time.

She didn’t want to rush them together again. Dani wanted to do this in an honest way. Which would mean coming out. 

She didn’t want to stay hidden anymore.

However, it turned out to be difficult to find the right moment. The O`Mara’s were always trying to talk about the wedding; whether it should be during the winter or right in the summer, if the dress should be newly bought or handed down from Mrs O`Mara.  
If the caterer should bring more fish or meat.

Both Edmund and Dani would look at each other uncomfortably, but Dani was just glad that Eddie seemed to accept it was over. 

They had mostly gotten past the awkward stage and  
instead were acting as best friends again.  
Eddie had even begun to attempt to figure out what Dani’s ‘type’ was. 

“Tall!” he had guessed.  
Dani had shrugged with her shoulders.  
“Doesn't really matter.”  
“Really?”  
“Yeah, both tall and small have their perks.” He had frowned.  
“And what would they be?”

“Well, a tall girlfriend would be great to cuddle with. Or like, really strong. And a small girlfriend would be great to cuddle, and just really adorable.”

He smirked. “That does sound great, actually.” 

Later that day they had watched movies and tv  
shows and “coincidencidentally”, as Edmund swore, most of them had some kind of wlw representation.

“Okay, Amanda Sefried or Megan Fox?”  
Dani had chuckled. “Both are great!”  
“Clark or Lexa?”  
“I'm going to have to say Lexa.”  
“Nicole or Waverly?” She bit her lip.  
“Difficult.”

And so it went on.

It turned out that, as a way to get over the recent breakup, Eddie had thrown himself into learning everything he could about the lgbt+ community, and telling her everything he found out.

He was truly committed to being a great ally and Dani was happy about it, even with the pressure of the whole town still hanging over them.

Then there was a whole school assembly. Even the parents had to be there, so Edmund and Dani were sitting next to each other, chuckling at their classmates who were trying to embarrass one of the teachers. 

Neither one of them condoned it but when Peter had called him with a resting bitchface”, they hadn’t been able to hold back their laughter, very much to the dismay of their parents.

As they were walking out at the end, a kid ran up to Dani. Looking over, she saw that it was Mikey. The little boy was wearing a shirt with dinosaurs on it and she was vividly reminded of her last good evening with Jamie.

“Hi Dani.”, he said´, smiling wide, showing his teeth.  
“Well hello to you too. How may you be, lil`dinosaur?”  
“Can I talk to you?” Mikey asked. Dani looked to Edmund who was watching them with a puzzled look on his face. He nodded and went to find his parents in the mass of students and  
teachers.

Dani managed to get Mikey into a quiet corner.He looked around, as if to see if anyone was near.  
Then he told her, “I miss you.” It almost broke the blonde`s heart. She had spent a lot of time at Jamie's house and babysitting together had become something of a ritual.

“I'm sorry for not being there, buddy.”

The boy sighed. “It's fine. But Jamie misses you too! She won’t even chase me around the house anymore.”

Dani closed her eyes. So he had noticed.

“Can't you just tell her that you love her?” He seemed so hopeful. Dani knelt down in front of him and straightened out his collar.

“I know that you want that, but it isn't that easy.”

He frowned. “Why not?”  
“Because-“ Her breath hitched at the sight of a certain brunette who was walking straight toward her with her aunt at her side.  
“Mikey!” Jamie scolded the kid, “You can't just run away!” Her eyes were stern.

“Yes Jamie.” The boy looked up at his sister remorsefully.

Then he turned back to Dani. “You can tell her now!”  
Jamie looked confused, but not as confused as her aunt, who was looking at the three of them.

Dani sighed. “I already told you Mikey, it isn't that easy.”  
The little boy was now crossing his arms and pouting. “But why not? You know, and if you tell her then she will know too! What’s not easy about that?”

Dani took a calming breath. “It’s just not.”

Jamie took a step towards Mikey and tried to pick him up, but instead of going along with it, he started screaming and crying. 

The two girls helplessly looked at each other while people from the assembly turned to look at them with curious eyes.  
“We have to go, Mikey!” Jamie said. But the boy was having none of it. He was throwing this tantrum and nothing was going to stop him.

“NO!” he screeched, while Jamie struggled to hold him.

Finally he broke free and started running. Of all the ways he could have gone, he had run right into the crowd of teachers, students and parents.

Jamie massaged the bridge of her nose.  
“Should we go after him?” Dani asked.  
The gardener grunted something that sounded like, “You got us into this mess, you better help with fixing it.”

The two girls gave chase to Mikey, while Jamie`s aunt stared at the space where the three kids had stood just a few seconds before.

“I should have fed them to the lions,” she whispered under her breath.


	9. Chapter 9

It took Dani and Jamie five minutes to catch Mikey again. The little boy was doggedly determined not to be stopped by them, making it a difficult task. When they finally caught him, still crying and throwing his arms all over the place, the teachers, students and parents were all staring at them. Owen, who had most likely guessed what Mikey was screaming about, grinned and winked at them. The hobby cook grabbed Hannah’s hand, and Dani’s eyes widened. Trying to catch her breath, she asked Jamie, “Didn't you say that those two were hopeless?” 

The gardener looked confused. 

She followed Dani’s gaze to her two friends. Owen and Hannah- hand in hand. When had that happened? Jamie couldn't tell. She hadn’t really been paying attention to anything over the last week. To be fair, she had been trying to avoid a certain blonde, who was now standing in front of her, trying not to let Mikey get away again. 

“I have no idea.” She sighed. “Okay, looks like we finally got this little shite.” Dani looked at her with a familiar look; the look she always gave her when Jamie referred to her kid brother like that. It wasn’t disappointment, but amusement (and a hint of teacher's face). 

“You know that you really shouldn't be calling him that?”

Jamie shrugged and grinned. “Is not like it ain’t the truth. You did run away, buddy,” she said, turning to the little boy who had now crossed his arms. “You know that you can't do that! That was very bad of you!” 

Mikey pouted. “But I was just trying to get you to talk!” 

Jamie sighed. Right. For a moment she had forgotten. “That's none of your concern Mikey.” His wild curls were falling in his eyes, shaking as he shook his head. 

“No one else is helping and so I thought that I would.” The girls looked at each other. This really wasn't going the way that they wanted it to. 

“But why do you want us together so badly?” Jamie asked. Unnoticed by her, Dani bit her lip, rubbing the finger where Edmund’s ring had sat just a few days ago. 

“Because you deserve to be happy. And Dani makes you happy.” 

Such a simple statement. The gardener was taken aback. It seemed like she truly was easy to read. Where had her poker face gone? “You have to understand, sometimes that just isn’t enough.” The boy looked confused. 

“Why?” 

“Because the world isn’t an easy place. People are complicated and the rules set to manage the chaos are even more so.” Mikey frowned. 

“I don`t understand what that has to do with anything.” 

The gardener pushed a strand of hair out of her face. “It’s about what’s right and wrong.” 

“Like in fairytales?” 

“Exactly like that. And well… people have different ideas of right and wrong.” Mikey scratched his head, not fully understanding. “You know how people are in relationships?” 

“Yep.” 

“Well, it’s seen as normal for a man and a woman to be in a relationship together. And Dani and I, we are both women.” 

Mikey looked at the two of them. “Is that wrong?” 

Dani shook her head, coming to Jamie’s aid. “No, of course not. But some people think that it is.” 

“Why would they think that?” 

The gardener seemed to be at a loss and desperately looked to Dani. “I’m not completely sure. A lot of them were just brought up like that, I guess.” 

“But they’re hating people that didn’t do anything wrong!” 

The blonde nodded. “Yeah. But that isn't important to them.” 

The boy seemed to think for a moment, then he asked, “are those people the reason that you won't talk?”

Both girls nodded. 

Jamie said: “There is this thing called `coming out`. It’s when you tell people that you feel the way Dani and me do.” 

Mikey seemed to understand. “And that can go badly?” 

Dani nodded. “Sometimes, yes. And your sister came out and for her, it went pretty well.” She bit her lip. “But for me it’s a bit more difficult.” Dani pointed to Eddie, who was standing next to their science teacher. “You see him? He was my best friend for the longest time, and then we got together.” 

“Like dating?”

“Exactly. And over the years I realized that something felt wrong but it wasn't untill your sister that I actually allowed myself to consider anything else.” 

Mikey grinned. “Because Jamie is great!” 

Dani nodded. “Yes. But you see, the adults in this town want Edmund and me to be together forever. And even though he now knows-” she tried to ignore Jamie`s surprised gasp, “-it is still not easy. Because his parents actually expect us to get married.” 

“But you don't want to marry him! You want to marry Jamie!” 

The girls blushed. Dani fidgeted nervously with her fingers. “I wouldn’t go that far yet, but the thing is, I do have very strong feelings for your sister.” 

“Like love?” Mikey asked, wide eyed. 

If Dani’s face hadn't already been tomato coloured, she would probably have blushed more. “I mean… I- I guess? Yes. Yeah, I love your sister. But before we can be together as a proper couple, I have to come out.” 

Dani was still trying to ignore Jamie. Jamie, who was staring at her with wide eyes. Jamie, who’s hair somehow still looked good after not being brushed for a week. Jamie, who smelled like trees, flowers and cigarette smoke. It would be dishonest to say that Dani didn’t want to just kiss her then and there. 

Instead, she pulled herself together and looked Mikey right in the eye. “And coming out is scary for me.” 

The boy needed time to process and went over to his aunt, while the two girls were left staring at each other. Jamie was the one to speak first. “You- you said it.” 

“What?”

“You know exactly what I mean.” 

Dani smiled, trying not to blush again. “I didn't want to lie to Mikey. He deserves honesty.” 

Jamie nodded. “He does.” 

They fell in silence, trying to figure out where they stood with each other now. “So Edmund knows?” 

Dani bit the inside of her cheeks. “Not everything. I left out the part where I kind of cheated.” A guilty look crossed her face. “But he knows that I`m gay, and surprisingly he’s been incredibly supportive.” 

Jamie raised an eyebrow. “Seriously! He even watched all the gay shows on Netflix with me!” 

The gardener chuckled. “That gets him a few more respect points from me.” She looked over to the boy with the round glasses. And truly, she did respect him for that. Not everyone would react like that when given the news that their relationship had been more or less a façade. 

“But your families still think you're engaged?” 

Dani nodded. “I’m still scared, and he wants to give me time to figure it out. He isn’t looking forward to the disappointed looks either.” The blonde tilted her head, slightly smiling. “But he has my back and I am thankful for that.” 

“Then I hope that it will be smooth sailing,” Jamie replied. 

Dani cleared her throat. “I’ve got to get back to him by the way. It looks like they want to leave.” The O’Mara’s were waving, signalling her to join them. 

“Then you gotta go.” 

Before Dani could leave, she let her hand slip into Jamie’s for the smallest moment, hoping that it would give her strength and answers. There were no answers, but at least she felt a little better.

When getting back to the O'Mara's, they asked what she had been talking to the other girl about. Dani explained that she had been babysitting Mikey and he had apparently missed her. They took the explanation and turned to leave. 

Edmund instead took her hand and slowed them down. “I might never have been the object of your affection, but I do know what a girl looks like when she has a crush.” Dani nervously looked to the side. Wasn't it too soon to talk about this? Edmund seemed to sense her thoughts and waved off her concerns.

“You know that I don’t mind, right? I’m trying to get over… us, and I know I will. So if you want to ask her out, you can. Don’t let me stop you.” 

She gave him a genuine smile. “Thank you, Eddie.” 

He corrected the way the glasses were sitting on his nose and grinned. “No problem. By the way, your type is tiny brunettes that can repair almost anything?” He pursed his lips. “No wonder I never stood a chance.” He laughed while Dani hit his shoulder as best as she could while being the height of a tall child.

“You weren't that bad.”

“Have you seen the way I hold a hammer? Hey, maybe your new girlfriend could show me!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it:)


	10. Chapter 10

Owen, Hannah and Jamie were sitting on the couch. The friends had been trying to get together to watch a movie for some time now but hadn’t been able to find a time when all three of them were free. 

Finally, they were here. At Jamie's house, Netflix on, her aunt and brother gone. 

There was a slight chance that the gardener had bribed both of them with the promise to let them decide what they watched during the weekend. Well, her aunt at least. For Mikey, a cookie had been enough. 

“If they don’t stop putting them through all that shit I’ll riot!” Jamie commented while one of the characters on screen got shot.

Owen chuckled. “You should try wishing something ‘batter’ than that.” 

The girls groaned. 

“What? I read something about how they continue this storyline and trust me, y'all aren't ready for that.” 

Hannah rolled her eyes. “Sure, Owen.” 

Jamie watched them. They were sitting close together, their legs tangled, Hannah resting her head on Owen’s shoulder. It was both cute and painful to see. The gardener was more than happy for the two useless people lying in front of her, but on the other hand- that was where she had fallen asleep with Dani. If she closed her eyes and wished it hard enough, she could still feel her warm embrace; smell the scent of books and sunshine. 

The brunette shook her head. No! She was not going to spend all night thinking about Dani! That was not how it was going to go! She would finally get over these damn feelings. Even after hearing Dani say that she actually loved her. 

Like, love! 

Who would have tho- No! Not again! Jamie pinched herself, trying to break the cycle. She’d been telling herself the same thing for three weeks now, and nothing had gotten better. Dani still hadn’t come out. Jamie considered herself a pretty patient person (multiple people in her life would disagree but the brunette knew herself) but she could feel herself slowly going crazy. 

The longing glances that Dani directed at her from across the room when she thought Jamie wasn't watching her. The gardener felt addicted. She couldn’t quit Dani. There was something in every room that reminded her of the blonde. A candle. A picture. The draft of cold air coming through the window. 

They were all such Dani things, and Jamie had no idea when she had started to think of everything in her life as a connection to the other girl. 

No, she couldn`t quit. Dani was there and hopefully there to stay- once she came out. That could take months, though. Jamie sighed. A cigarette would be great right now. The deep inhale, the exhale to let everything go again. The rhythm of it. 

Why had she quit again? 

It seemed like a stupid decision now. Ah yes, because Hannah had told her time and time again that it was unhealthy and took too much money. And after two years, Jamie finally had agreed and decided to set the unhealthy habit aside. But damn, who would have thought that it would be this hard?

Lost in her thoughts, the gardener did not hear the ringing of the doorbell. Owen got up and opened the door. When he said, “Edmund?” Jamie finally reacted. 

She jumped up to see the young man standing in front of the door. His glasses were reflecting the light of the living room and his leather jacket glistened from the rain falling steadily outside. 

“What are you doing here?” Owen asked. The footballer cleared his throat. 

“I’m here for Jamie, actually.” He seemed tense and scared. Jamie wasn't sure what to think. Hannah pushed her towards Edmund.

“What is it?” 

“Dani needs you.”

A simple statement, yet with so much meaning. What could have happened? Immediately Jamie’s thoughts jumped to worst case scenarios. 

“Why?”

Edmund scratched his chin. “Well-” he looked to Hannah and Owen who were watching them with concern. 

“You can speak in front of them. They know pretty much everything anyway.” 

He nodded. “Okay. Today we told our parents that we broke up.” Jamie’s eyebrows shot up. “And they asked why, and kept going on about why it’s a horrible idea, saying we’re both going to regret that decision and that we are young and don't know anything. And I guess Dani had just had enough. And well, she told them.” 

“What exactly?”

“That she’s gay.” 

Jamie tried to control her breathing. Deep inhale. Deep exhale. Just like with cigarettes, except that it wasn’t the same. Damn she missed them. 

Jamie focused again. “She really told them?” 

Edmund nodded. 

“What did they say?” 

“Nothing. Just stared, they were pretty shocked, which is understandable. But Dani panicked and ran off. I found her in the school greenhouse. She was having a breakdown, is still having one.” He brushed an unruly curl away from his face. “I can't calm her down. She won't let me touch her. She isn't really reacting to anything around her,” he took a deep breath, “but I know that she likes you. And maybe I don't know your exact relationship, but I know that she feels safe with you. She went to the greenhouse; I know you work there a lot. That must mean something! So if you could come with me and help calm her down, that would be great.” 

Instead of saying anything, Jamie grabbed her jacket and walked past Edmund to get to his car. The rain was still falling and within just a few seconds, she was soaked. The boy ran after her, opening the car and starting the motor as fast as possible. They drove through the night, silence hanging between them. 

There was a lot that he didn't know about her and Dani, while she didn’t know everything about him and Dani. But in the end, their common interest was the same girl. 

The drive to school had never before seemed so long. When Edmund finally parked the car, Jamie jumped out and ran into the school gardens. Panting heavily, she reached the greenhouse. The lights had been turned on. As she stepped inside, she could make out quiet sobbing. Carefully stepping over seedlings that hadn’t been planted yet and vases that the teachers were continuingly putting down here to be prepared, Jamie finally saw Dani. 

She was sitting in between a small desk and a shelf that was filled with gardening books; the same place where she had spent so much time reading while Jamie was working. Now the happy picture of those days was replaced with the anxious girl in front of her. 

Jamie got closer. Not wanting to scare Dani, she gently touched her shoulder. There was no reaction- which was better than being yanked away. 

“Dani,” Jamie whispered. Still no reaction. The gardener frowned then she sat down and without thinking about it twice, wrapped her arms around the other girl. 

The brunette could feel the sobs shaking Dani’s body and the fast beating of her heart. Rubbing her hands across Dani’s back, Jamie tried to give her some warmth which she’d lost while crying on the cold floor. 

“It’s alright,” Jamie murmured. Slowly, Dani seemed to realize who was holding her. She clutched onto the gardener as if her life depended on it. “Shhhhh,” Jamie tried to calm her down. 

“I-I-I told them,” the blonde said with a raspy voice. 

“I know. And you did good,” Jamie answered. 

Dani buried her head into Jamie’s chest. “I’m so scared.” 

“I know.” 

A small clonk made the gardener look up. Edmund was still standing there, his hands buried in the pockets of his jeans and a nervous look on his face. 

“Do you think they'll hate me?” 

The brunette sighed. She honestly had no idea. The O'Mara's weren't people with whom she interacted and the gardener had only met Mrs Clayton a few times. Three of those times, the older woman had been drunk, so there was no clear judgement there either. 

She looked to Edmund, and the boy shook his head with a stern expression. “I'll set my parents straight,” he mouthed. 

“I don't think they will. But if they do, it's their loss!” 

Dani looked up at the gardener for the first time that evening. Her eyes were puffy and red-rimmed. “Will you stay with me?” 

“I will.” 

Dani gave her a small smile. “I love you Jamie and I want you to know that. Nothing that is going to happen will change that!” 

Jamie smiled at the determination in Dani`s voice, despite the fear still present, and tried to ignore the wide eyes of Edmund, who was still staring at them. Yes, it was unfair of them to pour all of that on the poor boy, but Jamie couldn't bring herself to feel sorry in the moment. 

Dani was her priority. 

“I love you too, Poppins.” The gardener pressed a soft kiss on Dani's temple. 

And with that, she hoped that they would be fine.


	11. Chapter 11

“Just relax.”

Jamie’s hands were holding tight to Dani’s. The blondes fingers were warm and soft. The brunettes weren’t; still rough from all the days spent in the garden, working to create beauty. 

“Are you scared?”

Jamie knew what the answer was, but she knew that Dani had become more stubborn, stronger, less determined to please everyone. 

“Not really,” Dani replied. Jamie looked over at her, and truly, a smile was drawn on the lips of the blonde. Times really had changed, hadn't they? 

Long gone were the days when she had been so terrified that she felt the need to hide in the greenhouse. A year had passed. A whole year of new memories. Of kisses in the backseat of Jamie`s truck. Of reading books while the gardener saved plants. Of dances under streetlights and warm embraces in the kitchen light. A year of laughter, happiness, tears and what mattered most--love. 

It had not started out smoothly, that was for sure. Dani had been terrified, calmed a bit by the fact that Jamie would be there to hold her hand. Still, Her heart had almost burst out of her chest. It was two days before the O’Mara’s had gotten in touch with Dani. Jamie had driven them both to school, and as they had tried to walk into the building, they were stopped. 

Mrs O’Mara. 

She ran--or as close as one could get to running heels--towards Dani . She had taken Dani’s hand, squeezed it, smiled and nodded. “You’re a good girl, Dani. Don’t think you can get out of Friday dinners.” 

She had looked at Jamie, curiously looking at their intertwined hands. “And bring your girlfriend!” It hadn't been a question, it had been a request. And Jamie couldn’t say that she regretted going. 

The O’Mara’s were nice. A perfect suburban family. They laughed together at dinner, they had photo albums and funny stories to tell. It was certainly more than what Jamie was used to. Over time she grew warmer towards Edmund. She started to appreciate his caring nature and soft smiles. He clearly cared for Dani, and was willing to put her before his own feelings. She taught him how to repair a car. He helped her with math. They became friends. Not the closest, not like Dani and him, but friends. 

Dani`s mother had been a different story. Although she claimed that she was fine with Dani being gay, the thought of her actually bringing someone home seemed to make her uncomfortable. 

She refused to meet Jamie for almost three months. 

But then, after Mrs O’Mara talked to her, she finally gave in. Jamie’s relationship with Mrs Clayton was still icy, soured by a mutual feeling of dislike and disbelief of how Dani could keep the other around. That didn't stop Jamie.

That was what had brought them here. Sitting on a train, backpacks beneath their feet, on their way. They weren't sure where. Just that they had to get away. They were young, and neither of them had had the calmest childhood. Now it was time to find out who they were, without past assumptions or memories binding them to one place.

Owen had gone on to Paris. He was training to become a chef. Hannah had taken a job at a library. “Wherever the wind takes me,” she had said. Everyone had expected her to study, but she wanted to take her time. To figure things out. “I’m young. And there’s nothing like a cup of coffee and a good book to clear your mind.” Edmund had stayed behind. He would go on to be a historian--but that would be a different story.

“Sure you’re up for this?”

Dani chuckled. “I should be asking you. This isn't exactly your good old boring.”

“Fair enough.” The gardener grinned. “You know, when I first saw you, I never thought that you would do something like this. Something so… unplanned.”

“Guess we were both wrong, then.”

“And I'm glad for it.”

It turned out that Dani Clayton wasn’t as predictable as Owen had thought. And the gardener and her Poppins were only at the beginning of their adventure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is the end of this story.  
> A big thank you to my Beta reader! Ellie, you are amazing!  
> I hope y'all like it:)

**Author's Note:**

> Cheating: Bad!!!!
> 
> This is soleley for this storie`s purpose. Do not cheat on your partner!!!!


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